Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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