Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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