I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
