when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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