My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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