You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
