we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
