do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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