Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
