didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
