Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
