we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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