I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize