laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
