shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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