I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
