no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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