Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize