Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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