yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I came so hard my ears popped.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
