After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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