I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
