Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
