i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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