After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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