guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
