I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We're too hungover to prance.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
