Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
