Got a toothbrush?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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