i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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