Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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