so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize