you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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