Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
