Screwed.edu
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
