Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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