i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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