I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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