Do vagina's smell?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
