You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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