Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She said her name was "party"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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