I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
