there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
God, I missed his penis.
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