wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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