She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His nipple licking is glorious
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