you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
