I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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