The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize