what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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