So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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