I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
