Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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