I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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