You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
