I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
