I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize