Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
