It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
